Watch out for the Indian traveller

It has almost become a norm but I can’t help it. Every time I travel, be it domestically or internationally, I have my eyes open to look out for what people are upto. As much as I dislike getting on the plane, airports are the place I love to be at. I just love the hustle and bustle, love people rushing off to catch a flight, people getting pissed coz the flight is delayed, people going on vacation, kids going away from family, it is a place where you have all the emotions in world at display.

The close observations during my travel are also on the peculiar nature and characteristics of travellers from different nationalities. I’ve tried long and hard to pick up common characteristics among nationalities but I guess Indians are the only one’s which have a fair deal in common. Here are a few details:

1. The final goodbyes or the homecoming: Indian airports are by far the busiest airports I’ve seen not just filled with passengers but with people who come to drop-off or pick-up a near and dear one. Thank goodness non-passengers are charged an airport ticket if they want to get inside the airport.

2. Check-in at the airline counter: Yes, there are more airline people manning these lines than the actual passengers. You never know when the lines are broken. Believe me there are still people who walk straight to the counter ignoring the line.

3. Security check: Now, this has happened to me so many times. Even at Indian airports, clearly marked lines on the floor suggest people to wait for their turn before they go through the metal detector. You would not believe but if you wait there for the signal from the security guard to come through, there will be couple of people who’ll definitely slip past you and go through.

4. Immigration counter: Please fill out the form correctly and completely and if not then move aside and fill it. The blame goes to the Immigration officials as well on Indian airports as they just love to talk, even though the lines are getting bigger.

5. Flight boarding: What is the rush? If you’ve got a boarding pass and you are in the departure area, believe me, the flight is not leaving without taking you. Then why crush so many people on the way to try and get on the plane quickly. I can understand if it is a public compartment in train and you’re trying to get the best seat but on a plane……keeps me guessing. Maybe the fixed seat concept is a bit new. I remember being told by an Indian passenger on a near empty flight from Delhi to Jaipur to go look for other vacant seat at the back of the plane as he was not too interested to put his bag away from the seat originally allocated to me :)

6. Landing and Take-off: We love our cell phone, don’t we? I guess we love it more than anybody else in the world does and on top of that we love to call the whole world before the plane take-offs or as soon as it lands. On a flight from Hong Kong recently, an Indian lady was giving a step-by-step detail to a relative back home about her movement from the departure area following into her seat on the plane. How about a CCTV camera, I guess that would be better. And offcourse, we won’t switch off our phones unless the airhostess stands on our head and we will switch it on as soon as the plane lands on the tarmac. In addition, we just love to hit the washroom as soon as the seat belts signs come on, don’t we :)

7. In mid-air: We as Indians love to drink and we’ll go to any extent to grab a free drink. On a recent flight to Sydney, I was immersed in my sleep when I woke up listening to a tiff between an Indian passenger and the flight steward. Yes, it was about the alcohol. If you’re going to skull each time a drink is served to you and expect the steward to keep serving you, well excuse me but there are few hundred other passengers in the flight waiting to be served. Yes, you paid for the ticket and the service on board but you didn’t buy other people’s peace. Also, please have the balls to swear in English if you are that pissed with the service and not bitch about the whole thing with your mates in Hindi. I guess who wants to go to jail.

8. Indian immigration officials: As much as I didn’t want to write about this but I guess it is important for everyone to know. By the way being an Indian, I am pretty ashamed of this. On a recent visit to India, I presented my passport at the immigration counter and after looking at my passport curiously, the officer told me that the lamination on the main page is coming off slightly. I said fair enough, I’ll have that fixed from the passport office. Well, he wouldn’t let me go just that easily, he popped the question atleast 5-6 times, “toh kya karma hai iska aap batao? Problem ho jaayegi aapko jab aap waapis jaaoge” (short and sweet, he was asking me to come aside and give him some money and he’ll ignore the passport issue). This wasn’t my first brush with corrupt officials but I am deeply saddened to see the rampant spread of it.